I am no prognosticator or swami, I really have no ability to see into the future so that is why I thought I would take a stab at predicting what might happen his next year. Who knows if I get close people might believe I have some great powers, then again based on the number of people doing predictions today it is a little like the lottery, odds are low but someone’s going to win.
- Betty Crocker will announce a collaboration with Microsoft to begin making cupcake batter that contains microchips designed to let the NSA track your digestive system for possible threats. One note on this; I think they should pair up with Taco Bell if they really want to up the threat detection, at least in my stomach.
- Mattel will begin making Barbie’s in every size from 0 to 35 and each Barbie will have a skin color adjustment dial on her back allowing the doll to change from Norwegian to Ethiopian. Later in the year they will add an iPhone app to allow for breast size settings as well. In a related story they will still be sued by over a million people claiming Barbies still don’t allow for sex change alterations, Mattel will lose these suits.
- Congress will decree that they have reached a historic agreement ending years of fighting over PX90 verses Pilates as the official classes offered to Congress members at the capitol gym. This will be historic not only because they agreed on something but also that, slipped into the agreement in the 11th hour by Paul Ryan the agreement forces all members to actually exercise.
Well there you have it, my list of guesses for 2014. Remember when you see these on the news this year to tell your friends who told you they were going to happen! What the heck, I have as much chance of mine happening as all the other prognosticators, well maybe the congress agreeing one goes too far!