Evil Cookie Pushers and their Scheme’s

eyesI have always had a distrust of the Girl Scouts organization. Besides its leadership being as screwed up as our current congress, any group which sends out little girls with puppy dog eye’s to guilt you into buying cookies has got to be evil! These girls corner you at the local grocery store and even at Church! They send out the poster children for adorable to ask you to buy what amounts to three cookies for the price of several gallons of gas. I also believe they add MSG or some other addictive substances to the cookies to make me buy them up like a crack addict. The twinge in my gut every time I try to walk out of the grocery store trying to not look one of them in the eye’s is proof enough of the evil genius, but now they have taken it to the next level. Apparently some Girl Scouts have taken to setting up outside marijuana dispensaries. This is just about the most direct guaranteed sales any group can achieve. The poor saps who will retreat from their munchies creating activities will be no match for the puppy dog eyed miniature demons eager to relieve them of any cash which remains in their pockets. The only thing that keeps these cookie pushers in check might be that they don’t accept credit or debit cards; otherwise these dispensary customers would be relieved of every last dollar in their bank accounts as well!

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