I want to know how I can get on the government gravy train! I can’t seem to figure out how to get in on all the money they give away to do nothing. Millions and billions are given to build websites that don’t work or funding to study if there are gay seagulls. I can’t get them to give me a nickel yet some people are able to get truckloads. Is it because I have a job? Is it because I went over my 2.3 children quota? Perhaps it is my voting record of voting every time and not for the approved candidate? Perhaps my Ford f-350 diesel is causing some sort of red flag to go off when it comes to funding my study to create shoes for ants. I think my argument is as sane as all the other funding requests I mean, we created all this black top, which has to be heating up all the ants feet as they walk across it to get to my trash. If I want to help them maintain a healthy well-being and feel good about themselves I would think that giving them stylish shoes should be a priority for our government don’t you? Perhaps I can fix my funding dilemma by trading in my truck for a Prius or my name to some with rainforest in it.