Non-Foodie Non-Delights!

snail

When I was a kid I would eat weird combinations of food. I liked peanut butter, mayo and cheese sandwiches. I also, for some weird reason put ketchup on white rice. Today I could not imagine eating those combos they make my stomach turn just talking about them, yet while I might not be as random in my food combinations as adults we have other concoctions that should never have been created.

  1. Menudo: I have a great idea, let’s take the worst parts of the animal and make a stew out of them! When I watch one of the zombie movies or TV shows that are popular today I see a bunch of slow-moving people chasing the non-zombies around for a bowl of what my mother, aunts and uncles call a delicacy. I have been given a bite and that was more than enough of a taste for my lifetime.
  2.  Sushi: The only way to eat fish is dipped in a generous helping of batter then deep-fried in a vat of 450 degree week old grease with a side of fries. Considering the sheer volume of garage being thrown into the ocean not to mention the nuclear glow from the Japanese nuke plant accident eating fish raw seems a bit of a gamble these days. I hear the so-called experts telling me not to eat the raw cookie dough, yet I am supposed to go to an overpriced fish market and pay too much for fish they didn’t even have to cook? Because they don’t have to pay for pans, cooking oil or batter it should be cheaper!
  3.  Snails in anything: I watch one of those survival shows where Bear Grylls shows me how to make it if I ever get stranded in the wilderness. Then and only then am I even remotely interested in snail soup. As a very young kid, I walked up a river in the jungles of Guatemala gathering snails with my families which were then used for our dinner. I can still remember that evening all these years later, I also remember not having any dinner that night!

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