Race? Other!

I was filling out an application the other day andI came across the same issue I find on many applications. It asked for race, the problem is the choices they give. I can be Caucasian, African-American, Hispanic, Asian or Mixed non-Hispanic. My mother is from Guatemala, my Dad is Caucasian, I am mixed Hispanic, why can’t I choose mixed? What do they have against me? A a kid I always was an odd mix. Hanging with my cousins who could get a tan while my mom was covering me in zinc oxide ( Kids before modern sun screen we had a white paste to block the sun) I was wearing a giant sombrero one of my dad’s tee shirts as well, so I would not look like a lobster. pictures of all of us show kids in bathing suites and one well covered white kid. A sesame street song comes to mind when I think of it. “One of these things, is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong”. So when the application says I can be one or the other, I just can’t make up my mind. Especially when I know picking anything but “white guy” could help my cause!

Asteroids are scary!

I saw a news story about how an asteroid is going to fly by in the next couple of weeks. The headline was “Asteroid will  pass close to earth”. In the story they say that this asteroid is 1.7 miles long. I don’t know about you but this worries me! that is huge! I start to get a little knot in my stomach until they mention that by close, they mean 3.6 million miles away. Close in my mind is the Starbucks down the street. Close can even be my parents house three states away, but 3.6 million miles away is not close! Are they trying to make us nervous or has the news gotten so slow that they need to jazz up something far away. They say they are going to study it as it goes by. i bet the first observation listed will be that it is hard to see because it is 3.6 billion miles away! I don’t care how much glass there is between the asteroid and the geek looking through in the end, you aren’t gonna see much. Maybe if you knew it was coming you could have launched a camera into space to take pictures and send them back! Oh yeah, I forgot we would have to pay the russians to do that!

An inch is an inch!

Several hundred years ago when we were ruled by kings. Every time a new king came to power they would measure his foot and that was the new standard of that measurement. A foot really was a foot in those days. Today we have a standard for a foot and an inch that does not change. They are what they are and they are stringently maintained by geeks who make sure they don’t change. So tell me why I can buy a pair of shoes or pants or even a belt all the same size and yet they couldn’t be any more different? Why does one companies shoes run big and another run small? This makes no sense! If I buy a pair of size 11 shoes, I ought to be able to wear them. Especially in this day of ordering on-line, I don’t want to have to cheat out the local store by trying them on, and then telling them something like, I will think about it. Only to go home and order them from Amazon. I feel obligated to buy like a pair of sox, even thou I can buy them for 50% less online just for the time they gave me. And don’t get me started on pants. If I get another order of Capri pants in purple instead of what I ordered, I am going to scream! Someone needs to figure out how to make every thing that is a size, actually be that size!

And now the fun begins!

Memorial day is over! The school year if not finished, is on its last leg. Now begins the annual fight of how to get your kids to do something other than sit in front of the TV all summer. If they are old enough for a summer job that works out, but if they are too young for that it is hard to get them to not spend it on the computer or video game console. I thought I would offer a few helpful hints on how to get them to go outside.

1. Make sure they don’t have a house key, then send them to take the trash out to the curb and lock the doors. I would suggest changing the locks while they are out but you may not have enough time if they don’t get distracted on the way to the curb.

2. Bury five dollar bills in the yard. Don’t tell them where just let them know about them and tell them that if they find them, they can keep them. This can also prove entertaining for you. Watching them scramble about the yard like a dog looking for a place to hide a bone is funny and if you film it you might go viral!

3. Tie their cellphone to a string and put it up in a tree. Make sure you text them a few times so it is buzzing a lot while they look for it. If they ask you to call it so they can find it make sure you are close to a screen door so they hear it in the tree. I would also explain that it is not a piñata. Brooms and bats will just make you have to replace it, and the goal was to not give them something new and shiny to play with.

It’s a Jeep thing!

So I drive a 1990 Jeep Cherokee. I like it and I want to do some of the things I see others do to trick them out. I look at other Cherokees with big tires, lift kits and racks on the top with envy. I want to do that! I also noticed that the guys driving these things have a few things in common. Below are some of my observation and probably reasons I will never get to do those modifications to my jeep.

1. You have to have a five o’clock shadow beard. I can barely grow a mustache that looks like a stereotype Chinese 100-year-old man. These guys, even if they don’t have hair on top of their heads always look like a lumberjack. I guess I am just not that cool.

2. Moab stickers on the rear window. I could go online and buy a Moab, Utah  sticker but I know what would happen. Someone would try to talk to me like I have been there and I would have to fake it and it would just end badly.

3. The look of pity toward non-Jeep drivers. I can still look upon other cars and drivers with a sense of equality, but once you modify your jeep you have to look at everyone else with a look that says “poor other folks”. You have a jeep, it can go anywhere, your puny car or even standard jeep is beneath my status.

While I enjoy the occasional feeling of smugness it is usually aimed at people who can’t figure out how to turn on their computers, not at my fellow commuters.

Chchch changes!

I went to my son’s graduation ceremony yesterday. As much as they try to make it fresh and different some things seem like they said them at my graduation 30 years ago. I tried to list a few of them but I don’t have enough time to list them all.

1. Dream big! Really? Statically most of these people will live quiet lives even if 90% are going off to college. Maybe that is their dream and that is ok. we need average good people, if everybody becomes a star then nothing will be special about being a star.

2. Now you can figure out who you are. I am 48 years old. Let me know when you figure that out kids, because I still haven’t. Well that isn’t entirely true, but what I have figured out took longer to get to than four more years.

3. Change the world. I have never understood why the world needs so much changing. I like a lot about my world. It seems all the things I like everyone else wants to change. Yes some things need to be changed but lets figure out what is really broken before we go changing it for changes sake.

My apologies.

I have to apologize for yesterday. I was a bit whiney! After the events in Oklahoma last night I think I need to refrain from complaining about what I have or don’t have. After all, my family is safe, I have a roof over my head and none of my loved ones are missing. Things like this make me remember just how blessed I am. I am after all, living very comfortably compared to others and I don’t really need anything. I can not imagine wandering around what was my neighborhood looking for my pets or belongings or worse. So as I pray for those in Oklahoma today, I also give thanks for my many blessings, and will try not to whine about it.

Throw a little my way!

The company I work for got a call from someone asking about installing a server for them. Since this is what we do, we gladly setup a conference call to discuss their needs. When we got on the call with the person it turned out they didn’t actually know what they needed they wanted to start a whole online TV station and wanted to know if they could just run it from the basement of their home. I suggested he think a little bigger if he wanted more than two people be able to view his content. It always amazes me how some people who seem clueless are wildly successful. Is it a gift or talent that they make tons of money? Do they have some genetic disposition that makes them successful while others work their whole lives chasing the same dream only to never succeed? I wish I knew, or at least I wish I could rub some of that on to me. I’m not looking to be filthy rich, I would just like to get my kids through college and take a vacation now and then. Is that so much to ask!

Be good because…

I sat in a Panera half listening to a group of older men talking. The subjects ranged from politics to old age. A few things that struck me. No matter how old they were they talked about old age as something that others were. Second, they were worried about old age and how they would be treated by their family. I watched them as they saw someone being loaded into a care with care and they said they were treating their kids good so they would hopefully treat them good when it was their time. I figure if they are just starting now they are already too late. You can’t expect a few years of treating someone decent to change a life time of the opposite. I believe in second chances and that we should forgive those who have harmed us. I also believe it will never happen over night. I also think that if the only reason you are treating someone else good is for your own benefit it will be evident. Doing the right thing and being a good person to others has to be something we do because we care for others more than ourselves and no other reason.

My Momma and Daddy said….

Did your Mom and or Dad have sayings that they used over and over again? Mine did. You know what I mean, things like “you better wear clean underwear incase you get in an accident”, Or the “go clean behind your ears!”. Never mind that if you are in a bad accident the first thing your body does is eject everything from your bowels. Where did these come from? WHo was the first mom to tell of the importance of underwear? I doubt it came up before we could reach speeds of 30 or 40 miles per hour. My dad had a thing about my elbows being dirty, and I think that the reason they looked dirty was because there was no skin left on them to look clean. Of course years later a bubble started growing on my leg and they had to go in and take out a piece of gravel. They said I probably got as a kid and it imbedded under my skin for all those years . Well I know today that I won’t get any bubbles forming on my elbows, thanks to my Dad!