I have an overly developed guilt complex. I do believe there are things I should feel guilty about, but there are others things that I just need to get rid of, but they still give me the twinge of not feeling quite right. While there are many I try and keep my posts to 250 words so let me just name a few.
1. The guy at the freeway offramp. I give to the mission and I had been told that it isn’t good to give to them because you don’t know where the money is going to go. I imagine the guy walking around the corner and getting into a BMW or some other fancy car after making thousands of dollars off our guilt. So I try to look busy while waiting for the light to turn hoping not to make eye contact.
2. Getting a gift card for helping someone. I work at a large non-profit, I also run another non-profit in my spare time and volunteer at Church. Not because I want a reward, I do it because I love to help others and I feel called to do these things. So why do I feel weird when someone thanks me? I wish I understood this one, but I will chalk it up to the way I am wired.
3. Getting a parking spot in the front. I see the people going round and round looking for a good spot, I have done the same. When I pull into Walmart and a car in the first spot pulls out just as I reach them. I feel both happy and guilty at the same time. I just won the parking lot roulette, yet I can’t help feeling sorry for all the others guys still getting yelled at by their wives to just pick a spot.