Well, we can all rest easy now, they have announced world naked gardening day is May 7th. It might have been nice for them to tell us a little earlier so I could get myself into better shape. You know May 7th works for places like Florida and California but here in Colorado, we are under a winter storm warning and as I look out the window at all the snow falling I am not thinking gardening or even sans clothes. So unless you want to lose some body parts you might want to garden in ski overalls this year. Maybe it is spring but I am definitely not feeling it right now, and I can tell others are feeling like I do. This morning’s news had a guy who said he had a bomb strapped to his chest. It turned out to be a pool swimmie wrapped with candy bars. It got him in a lot of trouble, perhaps if he had just called it a spring survival vest he would have made it through this season without all the tackling and bomb squads. My only goal for this spring is to get to summer without needing too many of those vests! A few weekends without snow would be nice as well!
It is concert season again. As I listen to the radio I hear all the commercials for all of the acts coming around this spring and summer. I don’t know if you have priced any of these tickets but I have to say I won’t be seeing any of the bands I enjoyed as a kid or should I say what is left of them. KISS is coming soon or should I say half of KISS. only two band members are originals. At least they are not dead, just not speaking to each other. Half of the Who just came through, I can say that back in the day I saw three-quarters of the Who. The other one going around is AC/DC who as of last month only has one original member. I don’t know how these bands think that I want to pay up to $360 plus whatever fees to see guys in their sixties try to rock like they did in their twenties. I watched a video of KISS singing one of their songs about a sixteen-year-old girl. When I was a teen it was cool now to see an old man sing it is creepy! I guess these bands need to still earn a living but I will not be adding to the retirement fund of the surviving members of the rock and roll hall of fame. Instead, I think I will put that money into my own retirement account so I can afford their greatest hits album on whatever new technology it will be re-released on in the future.
So far 2016 seems like a bad year for losing celebrities! Seems like musicians, actors, and actresses are going down in record numbers. Perhaps it is that I am getting to a certain age and the people I grew up watching and listening to are older than I and it is just a natural thing. As Benjamin Franklin said, In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. It always seems funny to me that some who you expect would have died, every member of the Rolling Stones comes to mind, and others who seemed to take care of themselves better are gone. I guess that is the nature of life. If you took everyone who was born the same year as yourself and lined them up at age ten you would have very little in the way of predictors as to who would make it to sixty and who would not. Only God knows that, and he has not shared that with me. Of course, the opposite is also true in this age of the internet, some who are still alive have been rumored dead for years. Well, let’s hope that our favorite musicians from your youth are still kicking in 2017 and that the tickets to see them are affordable. And if yours has already passed, let’s hope the movie made about their life is at least half way decent to watch.
Ever since my jeep was crushed by the tree a few weeks ago, I have been looking for a replacement. Since it is an older car it doesn’t make any sense for me to go to car dealers and pay double so I have been combing craigslist. Last night I was successful in finding one that will work, I can’t help but say there are a few frustrating things with craigslist that made it harder to find the car I wanted. First, I get that many who post get slammed with junk email and scam attempts so they have put some safeguards in place. These make communication sometimes impossible. I email someone that I am interested, I get no response. I even texted and called one, no response. Is the car sold? Then take down the ad. I don’t know if the person is getting the email, or it is going to junk or they spelled it wrong so it goes nowhere. Do you not want to sell me your car? Even if it has a phone number I don’t get call backs. Do you not know how to remove the ad? read the email you got with the instructions, it isn’t hard. Good news is someone called me back, they were reasonable and we got the job done! It isn’t that hard, oh and I wasn’t robbed, beaten or taken advantage of so, for the most part, it was a good experience. If you list something, just have the courtesy of following up when you are done.
Our company has an email tag standard. That is your signature should look the same as everyone else, with you name, title and phone number all in a nice, professional looking font. That doesn’t, however, stop people from putting things like a favorite quote or bible verse on all their emails as well. Other companies do things like put surveys or sales pitches, but I have noticed that people still want to be unique so they will make changes to make it their own. I have seen one of my favorite quotes from Steven Wright “Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while, I was a suspect”. Yesterday, someone’s tag was a GIF of the TV character Urkel dancing. I struggle with putting something on mine. I don’t want to put some founding fathers quote that makes me look pretentious or something goofy that might get me in trouble with my boss. I would rather my emails say what they have to say, and I save all my weirdness for this blog. That way I share the strangeness with only you!
I like spicy food, I know it isn’t for everyone but I enjoy food that is very hot. Everyone has a level which they tolerate, I would not say I like it flaming tongue hot but I have friends who do. I find it funny how each person will describe the level which they like it. I just described my level to a friend as nose running forehead sweating hot. He described it back to me as pay for it later hot. They have an actual scale the Scoville heat scale which is suppose to tell you just how spicy something is. For example, Tabasco sauce is 2500-5000 on the scale where a sweet bell pepper is 0. Toward the upper-end pepper spray is 2 million and something called Pure capsaicin and Dihydrocapsaicin is 16 million. I would say I am closer to a tabasco maybe Habanero (100,000-350,000) kind of guy than a coat my food with pepper spray kind. I could not imagine a drop of the upper-end stuff on my food. While my liking may be a pay for it later like my friend said, the other stuff has to be a pay for life kind of experience. I think I will pass on even trying it, I don’t think a total intestine replacement surgery sounds like any kind of fun!
If I am ever fired from my job, it will not be for some over the top behavior. Not screaming at people at work or even inappropriate jokes. No, I will be fired over a printer! There is an attachment to printers like nothing else. I am in charge of them and the plan is to eliminate all the personal printer and move to multifunctional centers. For some reason, everyone believes they deserve a printer on their desk and if I even move the printer in their area one cubical away it is a personal attack. Everyone has a reason why they are special, everyone has a boss who thinks they are special, and I get to be the person to tell them they are not. I don’t want to be mean, I am not trying to ruin their day, I am just doing my job. The problem comes when a VP goes to my boss and says I want something, it really depends on if my boss will hold to the plan with me, or throw me under the bus. Either way, I am the bad guy and looking for the HR rep to walk into my cube. The likelihood is greater today since the department I upset today was HR.
During World War II people in London were being carpet bombed by the Germans. They must have felt like the world was ending soon, due to the sheer number of bombs. There have been other times like Haiti during the earthquake a while back where it all seemed like the end was near for those experiencing the tragedy. Well, today I feel like we are close again and I will give you a couple of reasons why I am feeling this way.
1. Our election season. Please, someone, tell me when this is going to stop! The only relief from the current clown show will be the election, but then it will mean one of these clowns is now in charge! Between facebook with it’s every other picture being of one of the candidates and the news showing what stupidity happened today I feel like I can’t breathe. I am tired of voting for the lesser of two evils, somebody please make it stop!
2. The PC world of College campuses. Today I read a story of a college campus which had a group of students loses it when they thought someone was dressed up like a member of the KKK. It turned out to be a priest in his robes. They are looking for reasons to be offended or even worse, reasons to riot instead of how to make the world a better place. Worse still, they know nothing of history or even recent events, so they cry out for socialism, not knowing that every country who has tried it has failed. They need safe places because they have no idea how the real world is. Wait till they have to get a real job and see how their employer feels about them needing safe spaces!
Sometimes by brain goes to strange places. Not dark, but just fixated on things that I probably don’t need to spend time on. Some of them are just weird like realizing that my freezer on occasion is keeping my food warmer than it is outside and calculating the temperature difference. Things like, wondering if the Fitbit on my wrist has more power than my first computer just don’t need time or brain power spent on them yet I ponder them. I can be distracted by the simplest of things like the left handed guitar player at church. It isn’t so much that he plays the guitar backwards as he plays a right handed guitar still with the strings the way a right handed player would flipped over. So I spend all of the songs watching his hand and trying to figure out which chord he is playing upside down. Why? I should be praising but instead, I am upside down chord watching! I think I really need one of those books on the habits of highly successful people but I would probably be more fixated on the cover jacket or the paper it was printed on, instead of learning how to stop doing that very thing!
Awe yes, today is April fools day! The one day a year where destroying a fellow works cube or putting color paint on the windshield wipers of their car to make it spread a rainbow is considered “good fun”. Who came up with this anyway? What schmuck decided that the first day of April will be set aside to prank people and worse keep perpetuating it by doing something bigger than last year. So far today the local football team has a new terrible quarterback, my company has opened a branch office in Hawaii, and Google has gotten people fired by putting a minion character on sent emails.
First of all, if you got fired over a minion on your email your employment was already in jeopardy. If it wasn’t, your boss really needs the help of some anti-anxiety meds. Secondly, is this really your first time around the block? Every year someone goes too far and we all see it on the internet or on the local news. Some brother somewhere is filling their siblings pool with jello or yard with manure in the annual “go too far” prank which will be our cautionary tale for the year. The only thing to be thankful for is that it is only once a year and none of yours or my siblings have that kind of money to pull off an over the top clean up nightmare!