I get it that this is a very important season for retailers. However, I think that it has reached some sort of the theoretical maximum carnage. I started getting Black Friday emails two weeks ago and not all of them were from retailers. Village inn sent me a Black Friday pie sale and I also got an email for half off signing up for running races. I get Amazon, even Harbor Freight (I am addicted to Harbor Freight) what I don’t need is a Cyber Monday sale on soap.
The best was the Cards against humanity maker had a Black Friday deal, spend five dollars on nothing! It was a button on their web page to spend five dollars and get nothing, apparently they made $71,000. This makes me laugh if you gave that to a charity tomorrow on giving Tuesday it would make a huge difference in the lives of needy people. Instead, we would rather just give it to nothing, as long as that nothing is on sale!
Twas the day before thanksgiving and all through my work, not a creature was stirring not even that girl that looks like a mouse.
All the managers and leaders said they were working from home, all the staff was waiting for the email that said they could go home!
Not much work was being accomplished, but much online shopping was happening, people trying to figure out what which was the best deal and which one they would be charging.
All the lunch rooms were empty all the baked goods scattered anything new was being held out for the day that really mattered.
And while I sit here getting absolutely nothing done, I wonder if anyone would notice if I run.
I know that if I leave what will happen, I’ll get to my home when my phone will ring it will be my boss asking for things.
So back in my car I will climb so I can email him a file that is sitting on my desktop not where I could access it, If only I had filed it on the server I could have remotely sent it from my favorite chair where I would be sitting.
Well, it is a terrible poem, but I have nothing better to do right now!
As a reformed fat guy, I have to say that today begins the hardest month and a half of the year. I speak of course of eating season. Today starts with a bunt cake brought in by a well-meaning co-worker for all of us to share. This time of year everyone and their mother gets in the mood to bake and cook which means just about every day till January there will be extra goodies floating around the office and at home. What a time for my treadmill to break! To offset this trend, I will need to run a marathon every day for the next two months. When I say I am a reformed fat guy I say it knowing that it only takes a season like this to put me back to my old ways. If I don’t keep the food intake down a little I will be breaking out the fat close from the back of the closet. If you are a friend or relative I do not want this blog post to discourage you from your baking, frying or casserole making. Let me make one thing perfectly clear, I will only refrain from seconds, or perhaps thirds of that delicious treat you are making and the smile on my face will be of genuine gratitude for your contribution to my addiction.
Yesterday was a rare thing in my adult life, I had a snow day! Work was called off due to a blizzard so I got to stay home. As a kid, I never had one because I lived in California. The only days I ever got off for weather was when we had a flood and we were out of school for two weeks. The news shows all the kids out sledding and having fun. That is never a snow day for adults. I had to fire up our big truck and drive my wife to work, nurses don’t get snow days. I then made calls to get the treadmill fixed, caught up on emails, repaired a broken cabinet and had a conversation with my boss about budget stuff. Great snow day! I can’t say it was all bad, I did have movies going while I worked and I managed to eat some brownies and get breakfast at Village inn. The problem really is that a day off really just means a day to try and catch up. Which means I am only a little less behind.
I really screwed up my back this weekend. It is really hurting so this morning I thought I might call in sick and try and rest it. I am not a call in sick guy. I think I have only taken one this year so far. So every time I am sick I feel kind of guilty about calling in. I play the what does it mean to the rest of my team if I do game in my head. It isn’t like I am coughing or contagious. I just might have to use a walker, but I could make it. So just when I decided to call in the emails started rolling in. My team has one person on vacation and now someone else called in sick. Then I start to waiver this will mean a lot of shuffling of work around. Well, I am the manager, I don’t actually do the work so I could sit on the couch and do what I have to. Then another manager of another group emails that he is sick and staying home. I start to falter, someone has to be there if only for moral support, right? Then the dagger, one of our systems is down. That is it, if it takes a stretcher to get there I can’t stay home now. I am a sucker, but I can take ibuprofen and muddle through. Even if I get nothing done today I have to be in my seat, that is just how I role.
Ah, the holidays. When people everywhere start to be offended by all the things they take for granted the rest of the year. Your company supports all kinds of things that I don’t believe in the whole year long but now I am going to be offended by you and light you up on social media. I have a comment for both sides of this argument. Knock it off! If my town wants to but up a nativity scene a menorah or a Santa riding on the back of a shark why do you have to be offended? We have to stop getting all worked up over stupid stuff. I am a Christian, but I don’t expect everyone else to be. I do believe that the intent of towns who put up Christmas decorations is done in good spirit not to force you to celebrate something you don’t believe. Why does it have to offend you? We are now wasting everyone’s time and effort trying to be as non-offensive as possible and it just isn’t possible. Until we all decide that there are real problems we need to put our efforts toward instead of all this nonsense this spiral to stupid will continue. Until Thanksgiving is over I refuse to put up any Christmas lights, but after that I am planning on offending as many people as I can with my holiday cheer!
When my kids were small I was introduced to a book called “Everybody poops”. In the book, we are taken through the world of mammals to discover that yes, we all have to make waste. I was a taken aback by the books very forward and luckily not very detailed graphic drawings, but the kids liked the book so we read it a few times. This is as close as I want to get to spending any quality time around the subject. Yesterday someone posted on Facebook a new product which is a pill you can take which will turn your waste product into a glitter filled surprise. What the heck? Do we really need to have something like this? What are people going to do stand around stare at it or even worse take pictures? Is someone thinking they are going to make Christmas tree ornaments with this? There are way too many people over sharing right now on social networks as it is, that is something I do not want to see! I have no idea what that will do to your insides, but I think there are better forms of fiber you should be taking. Let’s all agree that this Christmas we will share the family and even the pets all dressed up in their holiday best, but we will pass on sharing what we pass!
I have an overly developed guilt complex. I do believe there are things I should feel guilty about, but there are others things that I just need to get rid of, but they still give me the twinge of not feeling quite right. While there are many I try and keep my posts to 250 words so let me just name a few.
1. The guy at the freeway offramp. I give to the mission and I had been told that it isn’t good to give to them because you don’t know where the money is going to go. I imagine the guy walking around the corner and getting into a BMW or some other fancy car after making thousands of dollars off our guilt. So I try to look busy while waiting for the light to turn hoping not to make eye contact.
2. Getting a gift card for helping someone. I work at a large non-profit, I also run another non-profit in my spare time and volunteer at Church. Not because I want a reward, I do it because I love to help others and I feel called to do these things. So why do I feel weird when someone thanks me? I wish I understood this one, but I will chalk it up to the way I am wired.
3. Getting a parking spot in the front. I see the people going round and round looking for a good spot, I have done the same. When I pull into Walmart and a car in the first spot pulls out just as I reach them. I feel both happy and guilty at the same time. I just won the parking lot roulette, yet I can’t help feeling sorry for all the others guys still getting yelled at by their wives to just pick a spot.
When I was growing up, yes a million years ago, ha ha! One real treat was to go to the mall. It seemed like it had everything! All the stores you never saw anywhere else and droves of people with their hands filled with boxes and bags from the day of shopping. Now when I go to the local mall it is it is like the sad reminisce of something that was once great. My wife and I walked into the mall on Friday, half of the storefronts are boarded up and it seemed one flickering bulb away from a back alley. I know the economy is bad and online retailers like Amazon are kicking the small retailers in the rear, but there seems like there should be a place for the traditional mall above and beyond the five stores selling sports memorabilia and the weird goth gift store. If this trend keeps going the mall will end up like in the movie Jurassic park. Just large rodents and mammals roaming overgrown vines and shrubs of crumbling buildings. Then where are you going to find Santa?