Feeling old for a Friday!

NX_senior_man_wheelchairMan am I feeling old! Lets just say I have been out in the working world for a good long while now. Yes I am turning 50 this year; yes I am closer to retirement than I am to the beginning of my career. Those things don’t usually bother me, but this week I was in a meeting when someone who looked familiar asked me if I had worked at a place in my past. I responded yes, I worked there for eleven years. She then asked me if I remembered her mother, at that moment the light went on that she was the spitting image of her mother. This has happened to me three times over the past year. I am now working with the children of people I worked with and for. That is just depressing! These were kids just a few years ago, newly married or still single these co-workers were born after I graduated high school. All I have to say is ”that ain’t right!” Fifty like forty before it and possibly thirty as well all seem to happen with little or no fan fare. I don’t feel a curtain age it almost feels like an external thing, something other say but I cannot internalize what it really means. To me something that happened forty years ago seem like yesterday, and things that happened yesterday I couldn’t even remember today!

Be kind to your computer tech!

computerIT people have a few terms of endearment for users. I will not repeat them, but let’s just say not all users are created equal. I am a people person, I generally like people and most of the time I love helping them solve the issues they are having with their computers. That is most of the time, every once in a while you get a user who just rubs you wrong, they are the guy who knows everything, or the person who believes they are so important that you need to drop everything to serve them. Both treat you like you are not worthy of their time and breathing the same air should be a treat for you. Both of these kinds of people get annoyed when they are having a problem with a computer and act as if you are the incompetent. While I am not a vindictive person these people make me want to break something else on the computer and send them off with a new problem. What I have never understood, why would anybody treat someone who is trying to help them all the attitude? IF you treat your food server bad you might get nasty things in your food, if you yell at the auto mechanic you are probably aren’t going to get your car fixed right, and if you want your computer to work I suggest you bring cookies!

Please, Sir, I want some more!

1982132_848014598548123_4668599648662757360_nOn rare occasions when I am really sick I will take some NyQuil before bedtime. That stuff will do one of two things to me, I either sleep like a rock the entire night waking up the next morning feeling as if I had been under anesthesia or about three in the morning I pop up as wired as a drug dealer. I have not figured out how to predict which one will happen but both are not the perfect situation for the next day. If I am going to take it I know I am calling in sick the next day because there is no way I can function. I am not sure what they put in that stuff but I am pretty sure it is tame next to what this label shows from an early 1900’s cough syrup. This stuff had to make your head ring for days! Isn’t this the same concoction that killed Michel Jackson? Past generations would smoke and drink take medicines today are considered poison, yet somehow they still made it and are tougher and stronger than the wimps we are today. I am at least grateful that this syrup was skillfully combined in stead of just thrown together, that might have killed somebody.

Hey fan boy, time to expand your reading list!

logo_crusader_shield_swordI like the Lord of the Rings. I have read the books and seen the movies many times. I know a few lines and even can quote a few scenes from the movies. I however have never stabbed a car with a sword claiming it is the evil Morgoth! A story out of Portland my son showed me was about a guy who attacked a lady’s car with a sword dressed in chain-mail and a helmet. He told police he was a “high-elf” who was in battle with the above-mentioned evil caricature from the prequel of the lord of the rings stories. It isn’t hard to figure out that this guy has spent way too much time reading and probably fantasizing about the stories and shockingly enough he admitted he was on LSD at the time of arrest(yes that was sarcasm). This guy will probably spend a few days in the local mental facility, but mostly I think he needs to expand his reading library that way the next time he decides to take drugs he will have more choices of activities to do with cars.

Would you like fries with your creepy meal?

mcdonalds-happyMcDonald’s introduced a new mascot for the happy meal yesterday. I am not sure how much market surveying they did on it but I am going to go out on a limb here and say I don’t think it is going to last that long. I am not sure what message they are trying to convey with it but if they were trying to scare kids into eating happy meals, they nailed it! It is just plain creepy looking, the only way they could have made it creepier is to put it in the driver’s seat of a white van with no windows. They have already removed most of the “Happy” of a happy meal by replacing the over saturated fats with apples and yogurt. Now they have a mascot to match. I really think they will have to change this this out pretty soon or it will become one of the buttons worn on the suspenders of the middle aged my pony fans!

I am not yet bat crazy!

batMan, have I been busy! Ever have those times? I can go for months where it seems like I can’t find enough work to stay busy with, then I get into a time like now where I can’t find enough hours in a day. Not sure which one I like better. Slow times allow me to figure out what I want to do or even clean my office or do the project I was never able to get to. During the busy times I look up and the clock says it is time to go home but the work hasn’t stopped coming. I like the fast days, getting so many things done, running on adrenaline and coffee. The problem is it never comes evenly spread out. That is probably a good thing, if it was always slow they wouldn’t need me, if it was always busy I would probably run as fast as I can until I crashed. Maybe the waves of each keep my employer from finding me in the corner of a conference room curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth reciting lines from “The Dark Knight”

Go ahead, play that one more time!

maleoperasingerWhat happened to worship music at church? I don’t want to whine too much, I do like my church, but every week it is the same. We start out with a verse to a song but then we hit the chorus and never leave! We do the chorus loud, then soft, then loud again, perhaps a cappella, then another loud followed by thirty more rounds of the chorus. Is it that they are no longer writing second or third verses or are we just doomed to say the three or four lines until Jesus returns? They usually have some good content even thou they pound it into the ground. I think some people like doing this, I do not. I don’t care how great the song or chorus are I just can’t take the repetition. Maybe if they would work in another verse or two or possible sing another song I could get more into the worship. Otherwise I am going to stare off at the musicians wondering if they are as bored as I am.

Government, give me some of that!

vector1460-010413I want to know how I can get on the government gravy train! I can’t seem to figure out how to get in on all the money they give away to do nothing. Millions and billions are given to build websites that don’t work or funding to study if there are gay seagulls. I can’t get them to give me a nickel yet some people are able to get truckloads. Is it because I have a job? Is it because I went over my 2.3 children quota? Perhaps it is my voting record of voting every time and not for the approved candidate? Perhaps my Ford f-350 diesel is causing some sort of red flag to go off when it comes to funding my study to create shoes for ants. I think my argument is as sane as all the other funding requests I mean, we created all this black top, which has to be heating up all the ants feet as they walk across it to get to my trash. If I want to help them maintain a healthy well-being and feel good about themselves I would think that giving them stylish shoes should be a priority for our government don’t you? Perhaps I can fix my funding dilemma by trading in my truck for a Prius or my name to some with rainforest in it.

Traveling fun!

airplane

I am not a fan of travelling. Airplanes are not comfortable and cramming all that humanity into a small tube, pressurizing it and sending it to 30,000 feet kind of makes me wince. The looks of the travelers faces is a study of our culture, everything from the always agitated to the happy to be on an adventure face can be seen as they pile on. Of course there is never enough overhead bin space, and the lady in front of me can’t figure out how to get her bag to fit between the seats as we walk down the aisle. So we slowly walk watching her bag catch on seat after seat, only to drop her book and sweater while looking for an open spot to shove the bag too large to be carried on. I am usually not too flustered by this but there are always the seasoned travelers who look as thou this is the last straw breaking their fragile sanity. The other joy is watching others be mad at me for saving seats for my wife and children who did not get on the plane as early as I did. As if the plane will somehow run out of seats before they find one. If you wanted assigned seats don’t fly southwest, and if you don’t think what I did was right you can be upset in that middle seat at the back of the plane!

Graduate, welcome to the real world!

Graduation ceremonies always seem so hopeful, kids who just completed what ever program they dreamed of being a part of sit in gowns and depending on the school size and prestige, someone with an equivalently acceptable level of fame tells them the same thing all the other speakers at all the other schools tells them. Go and change the world! That’s what they tell them, maybe not in the same words, some will be funny some will tell stories of how someone possibly themselves did what they are telling them to go do. All of the graduates will sit in their seats and think to themselves, that they are going to do exactly that! The problem is that statistically it is highly probable that they will do little to change anything. Moving back to their parents home or getting an entry level job and spend most of their lives somewhere in middle management working to take the 2.3 children and wife to Disney world once a year becomes the reality. How do they go from hopeful to numb in less than ten years? Our dreams get crushed under the weight of the everyday, trying to get our dream to reality can be a lot like pushing a boulder up a hill. Every day can become tiring and we can lose hope that anything will ever change. The best advice I ever got was to look at life as a marathon not a sprint. A long consistent effort will win versus a short flash of speed. Maybe Graduation speakers should spend more time on the reality and tools needed to succeed rather than a flashy pep talk.