Fit Pick, my bacon!

fitpickIn our lunch room there is a vending machine. It is right next to the soda machine, and it contains many of the usual suspect’s chips, candy and mini doughnuts. As I stand looking at the available selections I am greeted by a few items that have been deemed special by the placement of a sticker calling them “Fit Picks”. I am sure this is a plan of the corporate health officer who worked on the vendor to add “health options” in the vending machine for those of us who cannot recognize that mini doughnuts may not be the healthiest option in our diet. While some of these are probably healthier options than say the potato skins, I really wonder if the fruit flavored gummy bears are really a “Fit Pick”. Who chooses what gets a sticker? The pop tarts are 400 calories per square and if that really is fruit inside I am a monkey’s uncle, yet I am to believe they are better for me than the cinnamon roll? I am going to go out on a limb here and say that if my diet consists of vending machine breakfast and lunches, that little sticker is not going to make much of a difference when I get on my scale.

Sports they are a changing!

baseballToday it was announced that major league baseball will end smashing into the catcher on plays at home plate. This along with the new rules in the NFL about hitting the quarterback or receivers, sports as we know them are changing, and I am not so sure for the better. I understand that the players are getting stronger and faster and the blows they take can be at any time career ending, thanks to better conditioning and probably pharmacology. The problem is that they say the changes are for safety, they are not, they are about money! Big dollars are being spent on players who could at any moment be injured or out of the sport all together. Owners want the big money they are spending to be protected and in our litigation crazy country, if they don’t do everything to provide player safety someone will sue them and most likely win! These rule changes have nothing to do with protecting the games as much as risk aversion for all involved. The system of professional sports is business, big business and they have no intention of doing anything to protect the integrity of the games. They have every intention of protecting their income stream. If this isn’t true why then are the owners in charge of the rules and not some independent governing body?

Yeah, I do have a cold!

Girl Warming Herself With A Cup Of CoffeeI am one of the most hated people at work right now. I am the guy with a cold sitting in his cube coughing and blowing my nose every ten minutes. I know, you want me to go home or at least be wearing a surgical mask and handing out squirts of hand sanitizer. Unlike you I am a contractor, which means I don’t get sick or vacation days. I don’t get to leave early and say I am working from home. I don’t get to show up at nine and leave by four I get paid for every hour I am working on site. They don’t send me to conferences in Vega or Orlando. If I take a sick day it comes out of my pocket, if I want to take Christmas off, which I have no choice about because the place is closed, I get two unpaid days. Hey I am not complaining, you are paying me well, just don’t expect me to go home unless I cut something off or the room starts to spin. I would also be careful to not ask too much of me today, I can’t figure out if my glasses are dirty or the sinus meds are making everything foggy!

Non-Foodie Non-Delights!

snail

When I was a kid I would eat weird combinations of food. I liked peanut butter, mayo and cheese sandwiches. I also, for some weird reason put ketchup on white rice. Today I could not imagine eating those combos they make my stomach turn just talking about them, yet while I might not be as random in my food combinations as adults we have other concoctions that should never have been created.

  1. Menudo: I have a great idea, let’s take the worst parts of the animal and make a stew out of them! When I watch one of the zombie movies or TV shows that are popular today I see a bunch of slow-moving people chasing the non-zombies around for a bowl of what my mother, aunts and uncles call a delicacy. I have been given a bite and that was more than enough of a taste for my lifetime.
  2.  Sushi: The only way to eat fish is dipped in a generous helping of batter then deep-fried in a vat of 450 degree week old grease with a side of fries. Considering the sheer volume of garage being thrown into the ocean not to mention the nuclear glow from the Japanese nuke plant accident eating fish raw seems a bit of a gamble these days. I hear the so-called experts telling me not to eat the raw cookie dough, yet I am supposed to go to an overpriced fish market and pay too much for fish they didn’t even have to cook? Because they don’t have to pay for pans, cooking oil or batter it should be cheaper!
  3.  Snails in anything: I watch one of those survival shows where Bear Grylls shows me how to make it if I ever get stranded in the wilderness. Then and only then am I even remotely interested in snail soup. As a very young kid, I walked up a river in the jungles of Guatemala gathering snails with my families which were then used for our dinner. I can still remember that evening all these years later, I also remember not having any dinner that night!

Alternative income!

stonesI was just talking to a friend who told me the story of a guy who quit his job because he is making more money doing his YouTube channel than working at his job. I know of others who are doing blogs or websites and making enough to live on. These stories make my head hurt. I can barely figure out how to eke out an existence working forty hours plus I have no idea how to produce something that gets four million views. Not that I haven’t tried different alternative methods of cash flow but so far they have not been blessed enough to pay me. I don’t know why these seem so attractive, being creative or having people see something you have created is something I aspire to I guess. the problem seems to be unless someone wants to see me banging two rocks together I just haven’t made anything worth that kind of attention. Here’s hoping this next year my rock banging actually produces a spark!

Thank you!

thanksWow, I just was thinking of a topic for today’s blog when I decided to look back and see if I had already written about that topic. This is when I realized I have been writing this thing for over a year! November 21st of last year was my first blog, that is just crazy! I started this to get better at writing. I need to be more consistent and better at everything about writing for the other project I run Need Project. I can now tell you it has been a blast! Not only have I really enjoyed it but the comments I have gotten from some of you have been priceless. Sticking my life out there is not one of my strong suits, I love to work on tasks, I have referred to myself as a hammer in search of a nail, sitting down every day and work to better a craft isn’t my nature. That being said, it has made all the other things I am working on that much better and I wanted to take this moment and thank those of you who have read this blog. Keep the feedback coming and I hope it will only get better as I get better at this thing!

Bob

Gas Can Stupidity!

fire-campfire

When my children were younger we would go camping with our neighbors. When it came time to light the camp fire one of our neighbors would stack wood about four to five feet high cover it in gasoline and then throw a match on it. It was always spectacular to see it go off and I always made sure my kids were standing way back. On at least a few occasions an eyebrow was lost and a few burns were bandaged due to what was really not a wise way to start a fire. Yesterday on the Today show they had a story of how people have been injured or even killed by plastic gas cans exploding. The story said eleven people had been killed last year and they acted as if this was a national crisis! I don’t want to down play the deaths but I know there are more people like my neighbor, probably way more than eleven. I also know that when you add alcohol to this equation the number is surprisingly low. The cry was to make the companies that make the gas cans make them safer. While that isn’t a bad thing, it is impossible to make them idiot proof. The only way to take that number any lower might be to install a Breathalyzer to the can, but then the lawsuits will change to gas fume litigation.

Infomercials

chiaHave you noticed that over the years some infomercials and commercials have come and gone? I remember the snuggly or perhaps the one about the spray on hair product that I just don’t see anymore. Then there are ones that have been on TV for twenty years and the just continue to run. Some even run the same commercial I saw on daytime TV when I would stay home sick as a teenager. The Chia pet is one of those that continues to play every night about 3am and on cable channels around Christmas. The idea of spreading salad fixings over a clay pot in the shape of a sheep or other shapes really doesn’t appeal to me in any other way other than a white elephant gift. I can see a small herb garden or tomatoes that grow upside down but the Chia is useless. Yet they must sell enough to continue to put commercials on TV. That was until last night the commercial last night introduced the Duck dynasty Chia that grows a beard. I have already thought of three people I must get one for! I also found out while on the website that I can get a Brittany Spears and Mr. T Chia. Perhaps I have learned the secret to the Chia longevity. Stars always look better with green hair.

Pants

pocketI can understand that in the days of Kings and queen’s measurements like the foot varied based on who was king. If you had a big guy as king you might end up getting a good deal, but today all measurements are the same an inch, foot, meter or what have you are controlled by standards and are set. So why is it I can order pants on-line in my size and when they arrive they don’t cover my socks they are so high? They also can vary from can’t breathe to slide off around the waist.  I know I work in IT but I don’t need my pants to look like I do. And while I am on the subject what is with the little pocket inside the pocket? All this is good for is getting my keys stuck so I have to turn the pocket inside out to get my keys out! Zippers can not be this complicated, yet some pairs of pants always return the zipper to the open position no matter how many times you check it and others slip into some secret zipper pocket which does not allow for a finger to get to the tab to adjust. Why some pants have three buttons versus just one, and variations like, one button and a hook. So as I look down at my ankles today and wonder how I didn’t see that these pants are showing off my socks, I should be thankful I didn’t have to repair my glasses with some tape, that would have made the look complete!

Not So Bright Ideas

I had the bright idea of working on my car over the four days I had off around Thanksgiving. I am no mechanic but I am willing to try, especially considering what it was going to cost me to fix my jeep. Day one went horrible, I had half the tools I needed and all the parts were rusted and old so getting them off was like separating a starfish from a rock. Day two was highlighted by several trips to the auto parts store to get even more tools and a pep talk from the girl at the counter who looked at me as if I was an idiot. The morning of day three was the highlight with the completion of one side of the front axle returning to the car and the ball joints changed. I was elated to begin the second wheel and after watching YouTube videos and with all the errors on the first wheel was confident I could complete the project in less than half the day. This is when only Murphy ’s Law can explain, the feces’ hit the fan. Turns out the previous owner had rigged up some bandages to keep the car together which fell apart the minute I took the car apart. Why do my projects always go like this? Every time I think it will be simple the hole I am digging gets a lot deeper. This happens on home and car repairs, and it is the reason I cringe every time my wife wants to redo something around the house. I am glad I am handy because I could afford to pay someone else to fix these disasters, but I wish just once I could complete a project without the thirty trips to the store.